


#MakeKabedonATag2k18

by Kaleidoscream_Kat



Category: Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: (Obviously), F/F, Fluff, Post-Canon, Riko Is Too Gay For This, but not really, kabedon, kind of crack?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-12
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2019-05-21 07:43:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14911235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaleidoscream_Kat/pseuds/Kaleidoscream_Kat
Summary: Dia and Riko find out that they both secretly browse AO3 for fanfictions of μ's and end up mutually complaining about the absurdity of the website not having an official "Kabedon" tag. Eavesdropping friends and a kabedon from You might make the situation too much for Riko's heart to handle.





	#MakeKabedonATag2k18

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: This is an actual oneshot with an actual plot, not a statement from me that AO3 needs to make "Kabedon" an official tag! I'm not even sure what that means or entails. Real life circumstances (in this case, the aforementioned tag) can lead to inspiration for fanfics, and the idea of someone getting indignant over the absence of a kabedon tag just fits Riko perfectly. ^.^
> 
> The title is because I can imagine certain girls (MARI) starting an Internet campaign for it, and using #MakeKabedonATag2k18 as the signature tag for that campaign. Besides, the joke idea of #MakeKabedonATag2k18 is what made me start actually writing this to post. 
> 
> Also Dia is a hardcore NozoEli shipper and you cannot convince me otherwise.

It started innocently enough: after school on a Friday, when Dia, Mari, and Kanan had managed to coordinate a visit to Uchiura. It was completely unexpected by the six girls who were still getting used to their new school, as they’d walked out after classes to find a small crowd surrounding what turned out to be one of the spectacles typical of those three. Namely Mari stirring up trouble, Dia scolding her futilely, and Kanan debating whether she should intervene or just keep laughing from the sidelines. Once it was established that no, Mari would _not_ be using purple spray paint and gold glitter to “improve” the statue in the courtyard, Dia commanded Chika to lead a tour of the school.

(The quizzical stares from strangers at how Mari was being kept on a quite literal leash by Kanan to avoid Ohara-induced incidents notwithstanding, they managed to complete the tour without drawing too much attention.)

After that, the flustered school staff insisted on preparing a meal in the cafeteria despite it being after-hours. Mari and You immediately jumped at the chance to chip in, with Yoshiko forcibly kept out of the kitchen by Hanamaru, but Riko slipped away to the school library. As fun as it was to see old friends, she couldn’t be swept up in abrupt excitement like the rest. She needed some quiet time to handle the change in pace. Naturally, her feet took her to the library with its multitude of computers that would provide anonymity online.

And naturally, as she was scrolling through Archive of Our Own for any enticing new or updated fanfictions about μ's, someone grabbed her shoulder from behind.

“Riko-san…” Dia said in a quiet, severe tone. Riko gulped. The former student council president was bound to launch into a lecture on how shameful it was to partake in a waste of time like this, she assumed. But instead, Dia pulled up a chair.

“D-Dia-san?” Riko stammered, caught off-guard. Dia smiled at her.

“I…honestly came here to do the same thing,” she confessed, absentmindedly scratching at her mole. Riko sighed with relief, smiling back.

“You won’t tell the others?”

“Not if you don’t.”

There was a pause before Riko started scrolling down again, absentmindedly exchanging commentary with Dia about the stories displayed on the list and the ones they investigated. As it turned out, Dia was firmly in the NozoEli faction and had a refined taste for that ship.

“I can’t believe this…” Dia muttered after a few minutes, eyes narrowing. Riko stopped scrolling the list of stories.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Look at this.” She tapped the screen, where the lowercase start of the tag “kabedon” and the following tag of “how is kabedon not a tag?” betrayed that one of Riko’s pet peeves was still a problem. She made an indignant sound.

“How can they not make kabedon an official tag?” she complained. “It’s every girl’s dream!”

“Precisely. Empirical evidence proves that it is a popular enough trend to deserve recognition, but somehow…” Dia scowled. “It’s disgraceful that it still isn’t a tag.”

“What do you think that’s like?” Riko wondered aloud. Dia raised an eyebrow. “Y-y’know…a kabedon?” she elaborated, blushing.

“Hm.” Dia’s eyes were thoughtful. “I’d rather be giving it, so I’d imagine it feels powerful and authoritative, with full control of the situation while being sure to maintain respect for your partner’s boundaries.”

“She’d be good at it, then…” Riko murmured to herself.

“Who would?” Dia cocked her head. Riko’s face burned.

“A-ah, n…n-no one!” she lied frantically. No way was she going to admit that she was thinking about blue eyes, ashen brown hair, and the ever-lingering hint of chlorine. No way would she confess to her guilty fantasies of You pushing her against the wall. No. She couldn’t say she’d fallen in love with the girl who got starry-eyed about boats and uniforms. She would never tell anyone how many times she’d imagined herself and You holding hands on the beach, enjoying picnics under the stars, cuddling up on the couch for a movie, sharing a perfect first kiss that would be followed by countless more…

“Riko-san!” Dia snapped her fingers in front of her face, snapping her back to reality.

“Eep!” she squeaked, jolting. “Wh-what?”

“You zoned out,” Dia explained. “I was concerned. Anyhow, what do _you_ think a kabedon would be like?”

“Breathtaking,” she began. “Being pressed up against a wall like that, caught off your guard and knowing that person wants you all to herself. But it has to be with someone you trust. I mean, you’re at her mercy, right? If you don’t trust her…it’ll just be scary.”

“You’re using female pronouns,” Dia observed. Riko winced. The fact that Dia was an avid reader of NozoEli fanfiction (and Dia’s general attitude toward people she cared about) proved she wouldn’t judge, but still…Riko had never come out to anyone before, and it was nerve-wracking. “I’m fairly certain all the members of Aqours are the same way,” Dia assured her quickly.

_Even You-chan?_ Riko bit her tongue before the question could slip out and give away her secret crush.

“I’ve given someone a kabedon before, actually,” Dia admitted, changing the subject so Riko wouldn’t be so flustered. “But only kind of. It was for sheer intimidation, with nothing romantic involved.”

“Did it intimidate the person?” Riko asked curiously. Dia let out an undignified snort.

“The person was Mari-san.”

“So…no,” Riko noticed. Dia nodded confirmation.

“I really would like to do it with someone I actually have feelings for, someday,” she sighed wistfully.

At that moment, a strange sound came from the door. It was half-snicker, half-snort. Dia and Riko jumped up, both tense because they both knew that sound.

“Ma. Ri. San!” Dia shouted angrily. In the door came Mari, looking quite unashamed…

…Then Kanan…

…And Yoshiko…

…Chika…

_Oh God, they were all listening!_ Riko’s face burned as all the members of Aqours filed in—including, to her rapidly intensifying embarrassment, You. _At least Dia-san will be able to make them repent with a harsh scolding…_ Riko glanced at Dia hopefully only to find that the older girl was clearly too humiliated to chew out the seven grinning observers. _Oh no…we’re screwed, aren’t we?_

“NozoEli fanfiction, hmmm, Dia?” Kanan teased.

“Who would’ve thought _you’d_ fantasize about kabedons, zura?” Hanamaru put in, her attention fixed on Dia, who was blushing deeply. Riko started edging away, hoping to escape before the teasing started focusing on her, but Chika caught her gaze, smirking. Riko froze with a deep blush, resigned to her fate.

"So...Riko-chan has a thing for getting kabedon-ed by cute girls, ehh?" Chika wiggled her eyebrows suggestively at the pianist. Riko glared, her blush darkening even more. "I can give you one now, y'know!"

Chika's teasing made Riko roll her eyes and groan. She loved her closest friend to death, but _jeez_ she'd never date her! Chika would never be more to her than a friend, or maybe a sister. Definitely not a romantic partner.

"I think offering it kind of defeats the point, zura," Hanamaru pointed out flatly. Chika pouted.

"She's right, Chika-chan," You agreed, her voice lilted with teasing, clearly false disdain for her energetic best friend. Chika whined in protest, slumping, and You gave her a couple reassuring pats on the back.

"Besides, you're not really my type, Chika-chan," Riko put in with a fond smile to show this wasn't an insult. "I'm more attracted to the strong, supportive types who still have emotional vulnerabilities and need to be reassured from time to...what?"

Chika was grinning from ear to ear. Kanan had a smirk on her face, Yoshiko looked almost proud, Mari's eyes were sparkling with bright mischief, Ruby was covering her mouth with both hands but couldn't hide her grin since it crinkled at her eyes, Hanamaru was nodding with her arms crossed in steady approval...

...And You was nowhere to be found.

Riko cocked her head, bewildered. Why were they all staring at her like that? Why could she hear the sharp inhale of Dia fighting a squeal? Where had You disappeared to?

That last question was promptly answered when she found herself being pushed up against a wall, meeting playful blue eyes. Her mouth went dry. One of You's hands angled Riko's chin. The other landed against the wall with a distinct sound.

_OhGodohGodohGod...!_ Riko felt like her heart would explode and her face would combust. What was going on? Was this really happening? You was too close and Riko slumped against the wall to keep her legs from giving out and dropping her to the floor in a boneless heap. You's knee went between her thighs and _oh God this was a dream, right?_ but the tiny fraction of her brain that was still functioning properly knew it was real.

You was smirking smugly at her. Riko forced her eyes to keep from fluttering shut, but without even thinking, she wet her lips with her tongue. You's gaze flickered down to follow the motion, her smirk widening and eyes practically glowing. Riko trembled in desperate anticipation.

_Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me,_ kiss me _You-chan, please!_ she pleaded silently, but You suddenly turned bashful. She stepped away from Riko and cleared her throat with an awkward smile.

"See, Chika-chan?" she asked over her shoulder, her voice strained with thick embarrassment. "You’ve gotta catch her off-guard!"

Riko wanted to die, but she also wanted to slap the hell out of You, _and_ she wanted to kiss the sailor senseless. More than anything though, she was humiliated about that happening in front of her friends, especially since You had left her hanging instead of actually kissing her and she was still struggling to calm her racing heart. Somehow, she felt it would have been less embarrassing if You had kissed her. Or maybe she’d just be too distracted by getting a kiss from her crush to care about who saw it happen.

"Come on, You, you can't just leave it there!" Yoshiko complained.

_Yeah, you really can't!_ Riko screamed in her head.

"Eheheh, I...just remembered...I, um...have swim practice!" You declared, clearly floundering for an excuse to leave. She wouldn't even glance Riko's way, but the pianist still saw her scarlet blush. You saluted to everyone, then ran out of the room full-steam.

"You! Finish what you started!" Mari shouted after her, but You was already out of earshot. At that moment, Riko realized that the blonde's cell phone camera was fixed on her.

"M-Mari-chan!" she scolded, humiliated. Mari grinned and tapped the screen. So she'd been recording the incident on video, not snapping photos. Riko was willing to bet it would appear on YouTube later, hopefully with names and faces censored to preserve at least some of the privacy and dignity of those involved. But since this was in the hands of Mari, it was all a toss-up.

"So...your type," Chika was wiggling her eyebrows at Riko again, "sounded exactly like You-chan!"

"Wh-what?" Riko choked on air.

"You're totally ~in love~ with her!" Mari declared, slipping a little English into the accusation.

"A-am not!" Riko cursed her own incriminating stutter.

"Riko-chan! Ganbaruby!" Ruby's expression was determined and encouraging. Riko's blush managed to deepen.

"Shut up! I don't l-love her!" Riko decided her persistent stuttering would be the death of her.

"I can't believe that girl wimped out on you..." Kanan shook her head in stern disapproval of her childhood friend's abrupt retreat. "She should've kissed you."

"Stop it!" Riko was whining now.

"My little demon is growing up so fast...!" Yoshiko dabbed at her eyes with a lacey black handkerchief. Hanamaru wrapped an arm around her shoulder as the other girl dramatically buried her face in her neck.

"You're all awful!" Riko accused.

"If you'd stop denying your love for You-chan, we wouldn't still be teasing you this much, zura. Stop trying to hide it, Riko-chan. It’s nothing to be embarrassed of, zura," Hanamaru replied bluntly, petting Yoshiko's head.

_Oh yeah, you're one to talk!_ Riko eyed the pair, whose feelings were blatant to everyone—except each other—even though neither had come out yet. Still, Riko wasn't petty enough to call them out for things they were too embarrassed to say (even though that was exactly what they were doing to her).

"Fine," she conceded grudgingly instead. "I'm in love with You-chan, okay? Are you happy now?"

"~Thank you~!" Mari winked.

"So? What was it like? The kabedon?" Dia couldn't restrain her curiosity anymore. Riko sighed softly.

"It _really_ needs to be a tag," she decided. "I felt like I was about to lose it and melt into a puddle. Ugh...I'm too gay for this...!" Riko buried her face in her hands.

"Aren't we all?" Kanan replied playfully. Riko slid to the floor in defeat.

"Help me..." she pleaded, looking around at the seven friends standing before her. Chika puffed out her chest.

"Alright! ‘Operation: Hook up Riko-chan with You-chan’ is a go!" she declared with a grin.

"~Shiny~!" Mari gave Chika a high-five and produced a rolled-up poster that was quickly unfurled to display the details of the aforementioned 'operation' with words and diagrams. Riko's jaw dropped.

"You knew already?" she asked, her voice rising in shock.

"Everyone knows, except You," Kanan admitted with a shrug. "She's completely oblivious."

"It's pretty obvious, zura," Hanamaru informed her. Riko winced, then sighed. She knew she'd regret this, but...

"Okay. Tell me about this plan."

**Author's Note:**

> Note: When Dia mentions giving Mari a kabedon, I'm referring to what happened during the confrontation about Tokyo in 1x07. And when I say they were looking up μ's fanfics, I'm talking about how (in the world of Love Live!) there would be a section for μ's fanfics on AO3 under Music & Bands.
> 
> Yes, most of this fic was written during stupid hours of the night. Still, I hope it was enjoyable!


End file.
